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08 January 2008 @ 03:26 pm
January 08.
Fuuucking hell haha, it's been a short year really - but I guess I have to admit it's been one of the best years.
I mean.. I met Jen, Rox and Stefan this year; in Amsterdam and then stopped over in Wales - it was fucking good times if I'm honest; even if there's a rift starting to come between us and getting my lip pierced. Which I let heal up cause I looked like a nob haha, and besides I didn't have much choice when anesthetic and school.
April 28th, Give It A Name is the date I will probably always look back on and never really fully come to terms with it. Conner. I just remember mum saying 'You know whose playing a GIAN this year? HIM!' so obv. I was going to plead and plead to go, and she finally said yeah. The night before I wished on 11:11 to meet someone at it, but in all honesty I went to have fun; because I was still "with" Gideon haha - and because it was to see some of my favourite bands. I bought an MSI shirt and then went to sit down to watch Fightstar; who were shit haha - and then saying to mum 'Shall we stand up for this next band?' - Alexisonfire. And then that's where I met him. I dno, I just still don't think I'll ever be able to get over it, just. It was basically fate I guess, nothings ever happened like that. He finally waved at me, started talking and two days later, 30th - we were together. 5th of May we met properly for the first time, and then 8 months later - we're still bloody together. It's going to be a year this year. So much shit has happened, and so many lies and untruthful shit; but it's 2008 and I'm starting again. I'm not going to let anything like that happen again, and I just want things to work out right.
From the start of 2007, riding into it alone into 2008 with the best boy in the world laid next to me, watching Pulp Fiction, snuggled up in bed haha with my mum running in hugging us both in a drunken stupour.
Things have been kind of fucked, with the lack of my friends I guess. Just, not being able to see them as much as I'd like to - especially Hannah. I miss her, and I feel like it's killing us I suppose because I just feel like we barely talk, outside of school and I dno. I just feel like I don't have much to say anymore except about Conner; and I just feel like nothing gets shared as much as it did. And I'm going to try and change that, I don't want it to be ruined anymore. I can't lose her, not to any one and not because of anyone.
September 07, a few days after we're back at school and I'm sat there in fucking agonizing pain in art, but not wanting to go home. Around last lesson in IT I decided it was enough and went home; and felt fine at night. 3am, woke up and screamed for my mum as I couldn't move.
She decided the hospital was the right solution. What happened? My appendix bloody well went and exploded didn't it haha. I had to have scans, blood tests, all bloody needles in me and stuff. Then the operation, and being high as owt on the morphine, quoting pirates and stuff. And Conner came, after mum rang him in science. And he made me feel so much better, but I hated it when he had to leave, it hurt me so much. His mum bought me a coyote thing haha.
November 2007. My birthday, Saturday, was an amazing day. Just everything that happened seemed perfect, and the bracelet he got me was beautiful.

27 July 2007 @ 06:47 pm
WARNING. this is a RANT. and a VIOLENT one at that.

for fucks sake right. god.
i don't even know what the fuck to say about her. she's a FUCKING COW. i fucking hate her.
'oh she's a lovely lass :)'
'you're so mean to my friends! aww leave her alone'
'oh you were right btw she does like me. BUT I'M STILL HER FRIEND'
okay. maybe he was friends with her before i was even in the scene. but i bet she didn't like him then until i came along. fucking.
okay. hang around with her. be with her. whatever the fuck you want BUT DON'T FUCKING FLAUNT IT INFRONT OF ME. does SCORPIO MEAN FUCK ALL TO YOU?!
it means i'm fucking jealous. and fiery. so you better fucking watch out.
i'm not normally a violent person. but i swear down if she even TRIES to get near my boy in any fucking way, i'll fucking split her in two. fucking curb stomp her ugly fucking face. it'll probably be a fucking IMPROVEMENT. i can't fucking stand her. i dont know her PROPERLY. but she can FUCK OFF flirting with him. and she can FUCK OFF ringing and texting him when I'm round. do you know what it's like when i'm there? yeah.
and i'm there once or twice a week. ONCE. a WEEK. and it was the last time i'll see him for OVER a week now. and you don't even CARE. you just want to fuck it all up and get me FUCKING PISSED OFF. i fucking hate you.
wahts rhe fuck9oing POINTM,FELAP[ADKGDMO[GO#[A
FUCKS SAKE. it's called TAKEN. NOT single. if i wasnt going out with him, yeah as you please, but I AM THANKS. it's called LOVE. L-O-V-E. this is the first lad I have ever felt love. the real fucking deal. and if you even DARE try and take him away from me, you're walking into fucking sudden death. I will KICK YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF.
and when she rang him. and all this shit. my heart jumped into my throat, and knives were fucking tearing at it.
oh i'm not the kind of person to say anything, so it'll keep quiet. until it happens again. and then that's it. SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE. fgs. i'm so pissed off. fucks sake.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK. he's the only one that i really love. and the stuff that he says and everything. it makes me feel like everything. this is the three month hurdle tomorrow.
and thats when whateverhisface said it lasts for, and then it doesn't work. yeah well i want to proove that wrong.
i still remember when i met him. i will always. i love him.

on a brighter note. wales tomorrow with jen and rox :] for a week :]
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: thrown away - papa roach
07 May 2007 @ 07:10 pm
i loved today so so much :] it was so amazing
i proper love him
spazzing out rate bad at the trainstation, hannah was like "=|.. i'm so close to walking away" LOL and then he gets off and I'm smiling like a loon LOL
so yeah. met him mum aunty and cousin x] and then. went up into town.
"DON'T STEP ON THE GRATES" *hannah steps on them all*
haha :]

hannah then goes to meet tasha. and we follow behind, i'm like "aww we cudda walked with her!" but eh. oh well.
walked around for ages. then went to the park :] sat talking and stuffs.
"I thought that was a dog" LOL so we started calling all the little kids dogs. aw. "that ones got a ball! GET THE STICK" hahahahh
and. then walked back into town. and walked arooounddd. and then went to sit across from the church.
LOL@the pigeons and stuff :]
so we went to get food cause he was complaining. mcdonalds eww. had chips tho. mm LOL.

went to townhall. talking and stuffs
"could you imagine kerryconner babies" omgg =] and little drainpipes and emo fringes. and eyeliner
"and they're five?!"
"hahaha aww cute" X'D
and then stuff.
and then like.. "marry meeee" omgggggggggggg =]
not like it's gonna happen but it's sweet!
LOL. we're so gay and stuffs.

he bit me. a lot. LOL. =] and my stomach as iffff LOL.
so yeah.
and then we had to go and stuff and it started raining as soon as we got up!
"r dey lezbian"
fuck offfomggg. me and conner just dying LOL.

in the graveyard and in the rain. omg :]
so yeah "that was random"
"oh well :]"

so yeah. practically ran to the trainstation
"why are they on that side"
"..oh LOL"
so then he had to go and stuff.
i miss hiiimmm.. omgggg =[ want him back rate loads. going to his HOUSE (omg) on sunday =]. seems like aaages.
yeah well. ooer.

sats tomorrow wtf don't think sooo!
Current Mood: gratefulgrateful
Current Music: this could be anywhere in the world - alexisonfire
06 May 2007 @ 09:15 pm
yesterday was pure amaze :]
so on the train, proper freaking out. got there and was totally hyperventilating and stuff. then I saw him :]
he waved, and i waved, and i walked over and hugged and just aw :]
then we go to this park thing. some little cunts walk past "uh goff" yeahh i am; bovvadddd?!?
"you look really nice" aww :]
yeah. so after that we sat on this grass, and just talked, and laughed, and cuddled and kissed. he's amazing really =]
and then we go to his band practice, and he'sjust.. so sweet :]
his singing omggg xD it's so hot LOL. and his guitar playing and stuff.
so that finished. his friend tom reminds me of linde xD

walked back to the trainstation, and sat in this cafe. he was so so sweet and stuffs. and like.. "everytime i look at you you just seem to get more and more beautiful, i mean you could take 1000 pictures in a day and each of them be different, getting better and better" aww god :]
and parents came. SO EMBARASSING. specially when mum fell off a chair that WASN'T THERE LOL.
oh god.
he wss singing keane :] aww. then i had to go
and he was almost crying and stuff, we held hands a lot. it was just amazing.
we hugged. and kissed. and said bye =]
and it was just amazing
and i can't wait until tomorrow cause i see him again :]]]]
i proper love him loads <3
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
03 May 2007 @ 07:09 pm
i'm proper happy lately
school was alraaate! friends with everyone really. lindseys still like "ehh" but i spoke nicely to her today. gna try and talk to her tomorrow about this.
i'm in such a good mood so i wanna be loved please? =]
pissing about with ashley in opening minds. slapping each others knuckles with pens HURTS MUCH xDD
paddy. drawing on me in maths "YMCA" wth LOL. he was well sweet in science yesterday, sticking up for me when the bitching was going off. aw =].
laughing hysterically with rhianne and sophie yesterday at break about "SPRAYTHIS!!!!" "ohgosh!" X'''D' Aaah god, they're amazing. and "i love egg" LMAO@that
ooerinhumanities =]

bloody coursework, sorry but no!

leicester on saturday plz? yes.
town on monday plz? yessss.

wanna hear him sing a lot. dno what to do about this situation really.. sucks much but i'm just happy so =].
you're amazing <3

i just.. i don't know. i'm SO happy lately, and it's just so fab. i wanna feel like this forever! and just wow. seriously =]]]

we booked the POTC tickets todaaayy yaay ^_^
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: breathe again
29 April 2007 @ 03:56 pm
ooer for getting smacked on thursday down grassmoor
yeahh by Melissa. twofaced much?! wtf when I did nothing. james trystan and paddy were well sweet after though, specially james; proper having a go at them all. tasha shannon jodie and hannah were proper awesome about it though.
"kerry i don't care if you make me smell like lemons, i'm hugging you anyway" LOL
proper best mates =]

lindseys not talking to me again. not super bothered though cause i haven't even done anything. she's just been well annoying lately, trying to be tasha, hyper, bitchy and whatever. she just ignores us all at break too! and just concentrates on the lads. urh. she's alright sometimes but she complains I don't tell her anything; and when I do, she goes and tells tom?! wth is that about omggg.

went to deathstars a few weeks back. proper well good, some well fit lads there an all! ooer =]

went to give it a name yesterdayyy! fucking amazing much?! HIM, MSI, Kill Hannah, Alexisonfire, The Used and Lost Alone were well good; i wanna go baackk.. met someone there too; kinda got moshed into him so yeah we started talking and stuff.
birmingham is a well nice city. mum was on about it being like amsterdam LOL.

got hair cut on friday. i loves it! it's like blackypurpleybrowny and cut like short and long.. yeah o.0;.

might be off to download soonn! and off to amsterdam in a months time, can't waiiiiiiiit! might be meeting Jen and Gids. better be =]

SATs in a week. revision? no soz. i well cba with anything at the moment. I just don't care lately o_0;
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: alone i break - korn
04 April 2007 @ 11:48 am
How CITY are you?

[x EEEE] been to Starbucks more than once in my life
[x sometimes] link arms when I walk with someone
[] shop at AE, A&F, or HCO
[] own 2 or more polo shirts
[x] will never be caught without my cell phone
[x] straighten or blow dry my hair on a daily basis
total: 4

I also...
[] wear flip flops no matter what the weather
[x] own an oversized pair of sunglasses
[x] own 1 or more pairs of ripped jeans
[x] layer my shirts
[x] have/had a "Myspace mirror pic"
total: 4

[] When I'm not drinking starbucks I prefer water
[] I get annoyed with tom-boys
[] I own an oversized bag or purse
[] I have seen every episode of Laguna Beach
[] My new fav. is the Hills
[x] I say "lol" in online chat
[x] I own tight jeans
total: 2

[x] wear large necklaces
[x] own an iPod/mp3 player
[x] have the internet
[xusedto.] have more than 1 AIM screen name
total: 4

And I...
[x] have said "lol" or "OMG!" in a real conversation
[x] love shopping
[] shop whenever I have a chance
[] own a bathing suit that cost 100 dollars or more
[x] have watched the Simple Life
total: 3

***add x's and multiply by 3

How COUNTRY are you?

Have you...

Have you...
[x] ridden a horse
[] owned a horse
[] owned land..
[] been 4 wheeling
[x] said "ain't"
[] been cow-tipping
[] been deer hunting
[] been swimming in a lake
[x] caught a fish
[] seen a deer get skinned
total: 3

[] have worked on a ranch or on land
[] have lived in a house in the middle of nowhere
[] have been duck hunting
[] have went swimming in a river
[] driven a truck
[] own a rebel flag
[x] like to fish
[x] have a funny accent... or people have told you that
[xmumhasXD] owned a pair of cowboy boots
[] own/owned a cowboy hat
[x] own/have owned a big dog
[x] say "y'all"
[x] have been made fun of for sayin "y'all"
total: 6

You also...
[x] cuss when you're mad
[] have dipped/dip snuff
[] go/have gone to church on sunday
[] owned/own a bird dog
[] have riddin' a horse to somewhere in town
[] have gone on a field trip to a farm/ranch
[] have eaten deer meat
[] have shot a gun
[] own a gun
[] parked your vehicles in the yard
[] have eaten chitlins
[] have eaten liver
total: 1

[] have gone shopping...for a gun
[] get the kids in your family a toy gun for christmas
[] unloaded straw?
[x] wear long sleeves even in the summer
[x] know what stirrups are
[ have fed the deer
[] had dog named Bocephus
total: 2

***add x's and multiply by 3

Find out what you are*
[x] You drink a lot of tea.
[x] You know what a brolly is.
[] Deal or No Deal has taken over your life.
[] You wanted Ben to win X Factor.
[x] You use the word "bugger" or the phrase "bloody hell."
[x] Fish and Chips are yummy.
[x] You can eat a Full English Breakfast.
[] You dislike emos almost as much as you dislike chavs.
[x] Its football.. not soccer.
Total: 6

Australian- (HAHAHAHANNAH)
[] You wear flip flops all year.
[] You call flip flops thongs not flip flops.
[] You love a backyard barbie.
[] You know a barbie is not a doll.
[x] You love the beach.
[x] Sometimes you swear without realizing.
[] You're a sports fanatic.
[] You are tanned.
[] You're a bit of a bogan.
[x] You have an Australian something (coughroelhannah)
Total: 3

[] The Sopranos is a great show.
[] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[x] Your grandmother makes her own sauces.
[x] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[] You know Italian songs.
[] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[] You speak some Italian
[x] You are under 5'10''.
[x] Pizza/spaghetti is the best food in the world.
[x] You talk with your hands.
[x sometimes]You talk very, very fast
Total: 6

[x] You say member instead of Remember.
[x] You speak Spanish or some.
[x] You like tacos.
[] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On ThE CoMpUtEr.
[] You are dark skinned.
[] You know what a Puta is.
[x] You talk fast occasionally.
[x] You have had highlights or have dyed your hair.
[] You know what platanos are.
Total: 5

[] You say villian as: Vee-lon.
[x] You have more than one vodka bottle in your house
[] You know the difference between channel 1 and rtvi
[x] You know of somebody named natasha.
[] You don’t get cold easily.
[x] You get into contests all the time.
[] You can easily make do with the cold weather.
[] You eat sushi more than once a week
[x] You enjoy listening to techno
Total: 4

[x] Your parents let you drink
[] You know what a pizda is
[] You have pierogi at least once a week
[] People always ask to see your "kielbasa" checking if you’re Polish
[x] People randomly call you their best friend
[] You have made/know what pisanki are
[] You laughed when Poland beat the USA in the 2002 world cup
Total: 2

Irish- WOO ;D
[] You think beer is the best.
[x] You have a bad temper.
[x (haha o'connell)] Your last name starts with a Mc, Murph, O', Fitz or ends with a y, on, un, an, in, ry, ly, y.
[x] You have blue or green eyes.
[x] You like the color green.
[x] You have been to a St. Patty’s day party.
[x] You have a family member from Ireland.
[/] You have blonde hair.
[x] You have/had freckles.
[x] Your family get-togethers always include drinking/singing.
Total: 8.5

Afro American-
[] You say nigga/nukka casually.
[] You have nappy hair.
[] You like rap.
[] You know how to shoot a gun.
[] You like watermelon.
[] You can ‘sing’ gospel.
[] You smoke Newports
Total: 1

[] You have slanty/small eyes.
[x] You like rice a lot.
[] You are good at math.
[/] You have played the piano.
[] You have family from Asia.
[x] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[] Most people think you're Chinese. (Not cause of my looks)
[] You call hurricanes typhoons.
[] You go to Baulko.
Total: 2.5

[x] You like bread.
[x] You think American Chocolate is good.
[x] You speak some German.
[x] You know what Schnitzel is.
[x] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
[] You went to Pre-school.
[] You're over 5'4".
Total: 5

[] You like to ride 4 wheelers
[] You love beer.
[x] You say eh.
[] You know what poutine is.
[x] You speak some French.
[] You love Tim Horton's.
[] At one point you lived in a farm house.
[] You WATCH/watched degrassi.
Total: 2

[x] You like French toast
[] You love wine
[x] You speak a little or are fluent in French
[] You have eaten a snail.
[x] You like fashion.
[] You have been to France.
[] You are either a Catholic, a Muslim, a Protestant or a Jew.
Total: 3

[] You hate foreigners.
[] You hate non-Christians.
[] you've been to more then 5 states
[x] You're lazy.
[] You are not cultured.
[] But love the death penalty.
[] You don't read.
[] You shop at Walmart
[] You think this survey is rather biased
Total: 1
Current Music: return to energiser - enter shikari
23 February 2007 @ 04:39 pm
meh today. not much rly.
i just cba to type about it.
i'm so cooold.

you've got perfect skiiinCollapse )
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Current Music: resurrection - HIM
18 February 2007 @ 11:27 am
stopped at hannahs last night.
well good plzzzz.
i'm rly tired so i won't go into detail too much but: paul, pauline the wife and paul jr, pauline jr :).

Bold the ones you listen to and add 3 more

My Chemical Romance
Taking Back Sunday

The Used
Brand New

Green Day
Bright Eyes
The Cure
Snow Patrol

The Strokes
Nine Inch Nails
Sex Pistols
The Ramones
Motion City Soundtrack
The Clash
Phantom Planet

The Postal Service
The Shins
The Walkmen
Maroon 5
The Killers
Box Car Racer
From First To Last
Hawthorne Heights
Senses Fail
Sum 41
blink 182

Plain White T's
Death Cab for Cutie
The Vines
Action Action
At the drive-in
Mars Volta
The Hives
Hot Hot Heat
Black Flag
The Arcarde Fire
The White Stripes
Modest Mouse

The Stills
The Thrills
Fall Out Boy
The Bravery
the Kaiser Chiefs
Head Automatica
Pencey Prep
Beastie Boys
The Rasmus
Good Charlotte
Papa Roach

Simple Plan
Smile Empty Soul
Cradle of Filth
Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: fortress of tears - HIM
16 February 2007 @ 03:42 pm
going to hannahs tomorrow :DDD
YAAY. staying up to 6am obv. and having awesome talks; it's rly nice cause you learn even more about each other and you find stuff to do and talk about. and the time just passes so freakin quickly without you realising it.
just awesome way to spend the night :)

went to nottingham yesterday with mum.
trains make me sleepy. first time I was gonna get on it I was shit scared; i'm not a fan of trains >_>

your circle of fear is the saaameCollapse )
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: solitary man - HIM